2-5: Caribbean Seafood Salad

Every so often throughout this project, I run into entries that make no sense, culinarily. I’ll admit–my knowledge of Caribbean cuisine is probably more limited compared to other types. However, I find it hard to believe that 2-5: Caribbean Seafood Salad is an “authentic” representation of a real Caribbean dish.

The other similar recipes I’ve found for “Caribbean seafood salad” include pineapple, papaya, and/or mango, and all look much better than this apple/banana/asparagus mess. Keep that in mind–there’s better ways to use these ingredients (and to make a “Caribbean seafood salad”) than what they’re out here trying to do.

I couldn’t find anything to support that asparagus is a big part of Caribbean cuisine, so I’m not sure why they chose to include it in this dish. None of those other recipes that I linked above feature asparagus.

However, I can tell you that it is a BIG crop here in California. I attended the Asparagus Festival in Stockton last year (this year’s was canceled due to coronavirus), and I’m here to tell you that asparagus ice cream is super weird.

Ingredients. I have pretty much everything they’ve asked for, except I’ve swapped some thick Greek yogurt for the sour cream. Like I said, I feel like there’s better uses for these ingredients than what Simply Delicious is asking me to do with them.

Cleanly peeled shrimp, courtesy of the local Safeway’s seafood counter.

Slicing up the apple.

I’m going to bag most of these up–I’d rather save them for snacks than waste them in this “salad” where they’re not going to be eaten.

Same goes for our friend the cucumber. Banana slices are on the plate already.

Keeping the good parts of the asparagus.

Trying to figure out how to make this salad edible, and not a trainwreck.

Since this was the end of the Greek yogurt, I saved myself a bowl to wash and mixed the dressing right in the container.

Getting fancy with my lemon wedges.

Blanching the asparagus spears.

Here’s ONE “sample” salad prepared as instructed, for the picture, posterity, and science. Dressing on the side, with a bit on top. This looks VERY 1980s.

Hopefully you’re on the same page as me by this point–IS there a way to use these same ingredients in something more…palatable? Funny you should ask…

Here’s what I ACTUALLY served for dinner that night. I saved the rest of the sliced fruit and cucumber for snacks during the week, and used the shrimp and asparagus along with some quinoa/rice blend for the real dish. I served a small (normal) side salad as well to use up the lettuce.

I’ve seen and eaten enough of Simply Delicious‘ weird garbage at this point to know when to stick with it, and when to fold early and find a new plan for the ingredients.

Grade: D+